As a parent your number one job is to keep your child safe, but that is not your only task. You also have a responsibility to prepare your child for the world, giving them the tools they need to navigate effectively through life.
Preparing your child for the next stage in their life is an awesome responsibility, one that includes fostering a high degree of confidence and independence. Raising independent minded kids is not an easy task, but it is an essential one, and here are some tips to get you started.
Provide Advice Instead of Answers
Children are full of answers, and as a parent you want to provide all the answers. After all everything is new to your child, so why not use your years of living and accumulated wisdom to make their life easier?
Providing all the answers might seem like a good thing to do, but working toward the answers will be even more beneficial to your child. The next time you feel compelled to give your child the answer, take a step back and give them a clue instead. Providing this gentle nudge will encourage your child to think the problem through themselves, an important step toward true independent thought.
Let Your Kids Help with Meal Preparation and Planning
Even the youngest children can help out with meal preparation, grocery shopping and planning. Older kids can chop vegetables and stir sauces on the stove, while younger ones can set the table and wash and dry the dishes.
You can also use those boring trips to the grocery store as a way to foster independence in your child. Letting your child choose from a range of acceptable food choices is a good place to start, even if you maintain veto power over what ultimately ends up in the cart.
Give Your Child (Limited) Choices
If you want your child to express their independence, it is important to give them choices, but those choices should not be unlimited. Letting your child choose from a variety of healthy choices at dinnertime is fine, for instance, while having cookies for dinner is clearly not.
The concept of limited choices can be expanded and adapted in many different ways. If your child longs to cross the street alone but you are not comfortable doing that you can practice in a safer space. As time goes on the growing sense of independence your child feels will make those larger excursions less risky.
Send Older Kids Out on Small Errands
If you are of a certain age you may remember solo trips to the corner grocery store or excursions to buy candy. And while times have changed, the importance of those solo outings still remains, so use your own good judgment and ask the kids to help out in a smart and safe way.
Older kids can be tasked with simple errands like picking up a gallon of milk from the corner store or bringing groceries in from the car. If you are feeling nervous about sending your child out into the world, you can always watch from a distance, hanging back and following along discreetly.
Establish a Pint Sized 401(k) Style Plan
Earning money and managing it well is a vital skill. It is also one that is rarely taught in school. If you want your child to grow up and become a financially independent adult, you will need to take the reins.
One of the best ways to teach those essential financial lessons is by setting up a pint sized 401(k) style program for your kids. This plan does not have to be elaborate – it could be as simple as matching the money you kid puts toward an expensive gadget or desired treat. Over time, however, the lessons imparted will
continue to resonate, especially as your kids get older and start earning their own money.
Assign Chores and Let Your Kids Choose
Being responsible for the successful completion of an assigned task is another vital skill for future growth. It is also something parents can help out with even when their kids are very small.
Assigning chores is a great way for kids to be involved in the running of the household, but those small tasks can also have a big impact on independence. Setting up a chore board with age appropriate jobs and letting each child choose is a great way to foster not only independence but also cooperation between siblings. If you want to sweeten the pot you can assign each task a dollar value, tying the completion of each job to the amount of the weekly allowance.
Children come into the world with an innate sense of curiosity and a desire to figure things out for themselves. As your children grow you can do a great deal to foster that desire for independence, using age appropriate lessons to guide them along one careful step at a time. If you do your job well you will see your child blossom into an independent protoadult, and each lesson you teach will build upon what came before.